Thursday, April 29, 2010


It's funny how nature plays an ironic trick on the most perfect appearing human beings, they end up appearing empty, cold and eventually ugly.It is when attractive features are mixed with some sort of blemish or imperfection, that true beauty is revealed. I met a girl the other night that fits this outlook on beauty perfectly, she had the mix of feminine charm with a uniqueness that I can't quite explain. She was a concoction of features that when put together in the right order resulted in a master piece, an inspiration for music and a woman that will leave a mark on the world. It very well may be that this is just a preference of mine and many other men will look past her as she doesn't fit the Beverly Hills template. I don't know what it is, but this young lass caught my eye big time.

All I can say is "I hope we meet again"

Im starting to feel old

Perhaps it's the fact that I'm about to complete my first degree, or that I recently turned 23 and the term "bouncer" holds little worry in my life. But I recently went out and could say "I'm too old for this night club". It was at this moment that I had to fight off the instant urge to run towards the nearest gardening store and commit a messy suicide. I have reached a period in my life where I can no longer blame my parents for the mishaps in my life, I received a tertiary education which I'm in the process of completing, I was given a car (a shitty one, but a car none the less) and I have been blessed to have parents who are still married. So yeah, I'm a lucky dude. It was during this period of realisation that I came to the conclusion, "God dam I'm a Man". I must be honest, I expected a little more variation in the achievement of manhood, perhaps a large explosion, or maybe a sword would fly down from the heavens or something.I received none of the sort, instead I received reminders that I will most likely go bald one day, I will have to support a family and I will slowly start turning into my father.

It took me a long time to even start to comes to terms with this dammed ageing process and from time to time it really gets to me. At this point I would like to apologise to all the people older then me, I'm sure that reading this post must make you feel even older then you already do. However, I'm starting to realise that its not all doom and gloom. Most of life's achievements start becoming possible once you leave University right? I have considered enrolling in another degree just to post pone the inevitable responsibility that looms in my not so distant future. However, the life of the eternal student would shelter and eventually steal my life from me. Instead I intend on becoming a well rounded old man, who has experienced life the way it should be done. How I intend on doing this is not yet decided, but I guess that thing called a degree should help a bit 

So once again I have managed to ramble about pretty Irrelevant shit, and managed to make little or no point at all. But I'm sure I'm not the first 23 year old to suddenly realise that the days of childhood are long gone and from now on shit goes down hill. But I must say I intend on tackling this unavoidable slope with the prowess of a giraffe on ice skates, hopefully this way Ill manage to make the experience of life that little bit more exciting.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Win her over with your awesomeness

I have few fears in my life, I would be rather scared if I was trapped in a cage with a Lion, If I had to fight Mike Tyson or if I had to defuse a nuclear bomb. But of late I have realised something that I cant really explain or make sense of, I'm scared of girls. OK, its not so clean cut as that. I'm not actually scared of all girls. I can easily interact and have a party with members of the finer sex, It's the ones that catch my eye that have this way of turning me into a young boy. I have no idea why, I mean I think the reason for this is because I am attracted to them and thus I am concerned about what they think of me. But that makes no sense, I should be confident and cool around them, but instead I become quiet and shy and this makes the odds of attracting them very low if not zero. Its a problem that needs to be rectified with great urgency

Just the other night I was faced with a fine young lass, I had been talking and socialising the entire night, but as soon as this girl entered our social group I quickly introverted and became quiet. I later saw her running around with a moron, it was then that I realised that I have the entire game "wrong", there was no way in hell that this guy had anything that I didn't have, sadly I was wrong. John Doe was no smarter, handsome or richer then I was, what he had that I lacked was confidence. I have heard it a thousand times "if you want to attract girls be confident" but it never made sense until I saw these events unfold.

OK, I'm not saying that from now I'm going to shag the Playboy Top 100 because I've found the missing link that makes women behave like they do in an AXE advert. I think I just need to adopt a new perspective. I am not a poor example of a man, and I need to behave in a manner that portrays that.

So, basically to revise this in a simple conclusion: Stop being a bitch mark, or your going to be spending winter alone, real men use women as heaters. But most of all be who you are and stop doubting yourself.

I also realised something, real men don't drink pink drinks, they drink their girlfriend's pink drinks

Friday, April 23, 2010

Evil evil Robber people, go get a job. Wait, its not that simple

So last night some devilish people, stole my brothers pit bike out of our shed. The thing that amazes me is the fact that they lifted that piece of metal over our wall, it's not exactly the lightest thing we have on our property. Unfortunately this has not been the first act of theft on our property, we have had a few car radio's stolen. Don't get me wrong I'm thankful that it's not an act of violence or burglary on a larger scale, the thing that gets me is the intrusion of our private space.

Seeing that I've never been a victim of a violent or large scale robbery, I take the sympathetic point of view and try to understand the evil, evil robber people's situation before I flook them and swear revenge on the poor population of South Africa. Obviously, these are individuals who are uneducated and cannot make enough money to survive and thus have turned to crime. Well I guess one of them can become a professional pit bike rider and thus feed the whole gang, but none the less I don't want to just buy a big ass dog, a gun and start waiting for them to return. I understand that this is a threat to my family and should be dealt with seriously. But I have a strange feeling of sympathy for these Robber folk. We have no idea of the situations they are faced with and are forced to commit crimes to survive.

I don't have a master plan that can solve this problem, If I did, I would be rich and famous.I know its stupid to feel sorry for the people who commit a crime against you, but I do. It makes sense why these people follow a militant mother fucker like Julius. I guess we gotta buff up our security and phone the insurance people, maybe my brother(the ex-owner of the bike) can now get that new PC he wanted, or maybe i can twist his arm into buying some fancy guitar gadget. I dunno. Its time for playstation with Chris. Its friday, I spend every friday with Mr Mckay.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Introducing "The Black Keys"

For many of us we have a few bands that manage to tickle a distinct feeling in our soul, for myself The Black Keys is that band. Its my safe choice, the same way we choose that same brand of cigarettes or the same breakfast cereal.

Something about the Black Keys that very few people are unaware of is that they are the original two piece. Forget about the the Ting Tings and other copy cats. The Black Keys have been ripping up the night clubs and stadiums all over the world while you have been asking yourself "I wish I could find that next band, the next band that will escort me through the mundane activities of my boring life". Well, I know I'm bias but the black keys could be that band. Here is there newest single, but make sure you check out all of their shit, because you will be missing out if you don't.

I put a link to the video because I'm not tech savy enough to make the video fit all nicely in this post. So instead you have click on the link. If you wish to remain at my Blog right click and open it in a new tab.

The New Black keys video "Tighten Up"
The Black Keys "Next Girl"

Mr Bukowski

So a good friend of mine, Miss Jessica Bemont introduced me to Mr Henry Charles Bukowski. Well...... Come to think of it, I did read a book of his before Jes spoke so highly of this Dirty Mother Fucker. But that is irrelevent, what matters is that some where along the line I managed to gain an insight into Mr Bukowski twisted and dirty life

Mr Bukowski left a rampage of booze, dirty women and probably some of the best literacy I have ever been exposed to in my life. Bukowski in the real world could only be described as white trash. He drank more that was thought physically possible, he fucked half of the hookers in America and contracted enough STD's to create a new strain of nasty. However this american lowlife managed to document this life of his is a manner that is truly astounding.

If you like words, really good words, go read his books. He writes in a way that is hard to describe. I don't want bore you with pathetic attempts trying to explain how Bukowski makes me feel when he writes. Basically Charles is good, No he is probably one of the best. Well thats if you don't mind reading about booze, sex, murder and some pretty fucked up shit. So i've punted Mr Bukowski, go get a book of his and tell me if it is as good as I make it out to be.