Saturday, October 30, 2010

More Music, More Music, More Music

So. As you might have noticed I tend to randomly post videos on this blog, I do it partially because I want to indoctrinate you into liking the music I like and also because it increases my post count. My plan is that if all the people who visit my blog listen/watch the music videos I post, they will obviously realize that my music choices and taste are superior to theirs and they will thus hail me a music culture demi-god. What this entails for me if my plan is successful is that I will be able to control musical trends, I will be able to eliminate pathetic music icons like Justin Bieber and I will never have to be subjected to shitty ass club music again. So watch closely as you might just be witnessing the beginning of my rise to fame, or at least in my own little world of marshmallow cars and flying Scottish terriers I will be making a difference

My first choice for this post is a band called The XX. If you keep your musical ears close to the ground and you don't spend all your time listening to Michael Bolton, it is likely that you have already heard of this band. I like them, their CD has a great flow. I suggest you either pirate their music, or if you are controlled by your conscious then perhaps buy it. Either way, listen to their shit. Its good

Ok. So already you might be realizing that Keisha isn't that cool anymore and brushing your teeth with a bottle of Jack Daniels doesn't mean you will make good music. The next band is called Bombay Bicycle Club, and yes they are good.

My last selection for the day is a band that you should already know. These Canadian individuals have a band that consists of about 50 thousand members (more like 8). They also make very good music, so good that Kings of Leon have become jealous of their success and decided to make childish allegations towards them. Arcade Fire is cool. Listen and be amazed. Yes. Dressed for success.

Until next time kids. Remember not to use energy saving light bulbs when you smoke TiK. Its make the whole process a hassle.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Fokken Prawns

The streets of Johannesburg have become a bore! Between the thousands of pumped police officers with their inflated World Cup egos and the even larger number of criminals who feel they have to catch up on committing crimes and general ruckus causing activities, has resulted in the police force flexing their steroid inflated biceps. Spending quality time with friends, drinking a brew or a small act of vandalism are a thing of the past, as you will either be beaten on the head with a bottle and then raped or beaten on the head with a baton and then put in a cell where you will be repeatedly violently raped. Time outside your dwelling seems to be a thing of old.

Even on a Monday night, a trip to the shops for bread and milk can result in a mass roadblock encounter, a cavity search and parting with a couple of "Ronts" due to outstanding fines. Poor Johannes who doesn't care about anything thing as long as he gets a "klap" of his bong, now has attend those rehab meetings as his drug dealers are all in the cop shop, awaiting the signs of the police brutality to heal before they can be released. Silvia has to continuously sleep with random men as she cannot drive home after her nights out at Frosties, as she will surely be arrested by the mob of police waiting around every street corner.

The fearful South African white population is in the worst position of all. For years they have been able to target their secret feelings of insecurity on Black leaders and freedom fighters. First it was Mandela and his "Fokken ANC", then it was the PAC and their views of a United Africa. Recently the white populous have been uniting against the most evil man to come out of South Africa yet. Julius "Fokken Bliksem" Malema and his band of hooligans have been the brunt of every conversation taking place in the Free State for the past year or two. However old Julius "Fokken Bliksem" Malema has been some what down graded by the Chief himself, "Jakes My Boy" Zuma(Who has a special place in every Afrikaners heart as he did not encourage the recreational activity of "The Boere Panga Chop").

Who will the white population target their frustration upon now that our short and shunned Julius has no body guards and cannot deport Bloody British Agents anymore. Perhaps they will turn to slandering that "Bloody Moffie" Pieter Dirk Uys, or the next ANC Youth League President who is just fighting for his people, who knows. Better invest in some New Zealand Rugby shirts oaks.

The Worst thing of all is that not only will Daughtry be coming to SA, but those Irish bastards U2 will be gracing our shores. Their gob smacking, ground breaking 360 degree stage will be polluting our airwaves and breaking crowd attendance records in Africa next year. Bono can now fulfill his life long dream of adopting a Khoi San baby boy.Perhaps we are all shallow and ungrateful people. I dunno, but at least we have AB De Villiers. As long as he doesn't sing

Monday, October 18, 2010

The Shadowclub - Do it for the baby Seals and Kittens

In a mainstream musical world that is obsessed with candy coated pop stars who either bend the line between genders or who sell their music with the assistance of their genitalia, it seems that anyone who wants to drink a bottle of Jack Daniels and rock the fuck out is tough out of luck. Waddy Jones of the Die Antwoord has recreated himself over and over again until he hit the big time, pushing the yard stick so far that even YouTube has removed the controversial bands even more controversial music video. Two "apparent" descendants of Charlie Chapman are quickly becoming one of the biggest acts of  in South African history, even though it seems they are more familiar with beef jerky and baseball then with Biltong and Cricket. The average person in the street seems more concerned with who can say "Fok" the most in one sentence then those blessed with actual musical ability.

In the midsts of the South African Scene one of our best talents is going somewhat unnoticed. Jacques Moolman has been tearing up the stages of South Africa for years with his Blues Rock Band The Shadowclub and formerly with his jazz influenced group Airship Orange, his silky vocals are almost completely unmatched by anyone this side of the equator. The front man doesn't come with a clean sheet, but who wants a squeaky clean front man anyway.

The band is not that stereotypical one man act held back by other incompetent individuals, as one of the busiest and arguably best stick wielding individuals in the country Isaac Klawansky drives the 3 three piece with the same finesse as a battleship captain. Latest member Louis Roux has filled the empty void that ex-bassist Liale Francis left when he handed in his gloves not that long ago. Louis seems far better suited for the explosive and some what volatile 3 three piece bringing a gunshot groove tighter then Megan Fox's ass.

The Band is another sad case of "If only they didn't live in South Africa". Lack of management, lack of venues and far too many tone deaf individuals are letting this world class act slip by under the radar. The band was due to release an album recently but so far nothing has been put forward. If The Shadowclub goes unnoticed and ends up just another failed South African band, many baby Seals will be clubbed and many Kittens will drown. Support the The Shadowclub, do it for the Seals and Kittens     

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Skate For Change.

In my youth, I was drawn to skateboarding culture like Steven Segal is drawn to punching people in the face. I wanted to be like Tony Hawk, Eric Koston and Andrew Reynolds. I used to roll around the streets of my neighborhood with my friends, getting up to mischief, practicing my skills and getting up to shit I probably shouldn't have. Unfortunately, I didn't possess the natural talent for skateboarding and I was average at best. During this period of my life their were two names, that in my opinion stood out in South African Skateboarding. Puddy Zwennis and Clint van der Schyf were the best I had seen with my own eye's. They tore up the streets of Pretoria and Johannesburg with a prowess that was unmatched.

As I grew older and eventually put my skateboard down in exchange for other pleasures in life, I managed to forget about these people. I traded my Vans for Converse All Stars and my life went in another direction. However, I recently was confronted with the familiar name of Puddy Zwennis and his Skate For Change initiative. In an attempt to bring attention to and raise money for impoverished children Puddy Zwennis has decided to make a trip from Johannesburg to Cape Town via Port Elizabeth on his Skateboard. The Route is a staggering 1800Km's and with the support of his team he hopes to make the trip over a 3 month period.

The initiative is proudly sponsored by Shoprite, Stix and Stones, Revolution, DVS,Verb, Skull Candy, CMS, Eveready, Raid, Son Skate, Flexfit, The Citizen, Take 5 and Sportron. This is the first attempt of this sort in South Africa and is looking towards the general public to make donations. If you wish to contribute to Puddy and his cause, you can simply Sms "Puddy" to 38665 to make a R10 donation, pretty easy hey. The massive feat is scheduled to conclude on the 30th of October and at the point of me writing this, Puddy has done about 1488Km's according to their fancy website. It isn't often that someone is willing to put himself through something that will push the boundaries of his physical capacity in an effort that will benefit other people. Remember Puddy next time you are too selfish to tip the car guard or too lazy to assist someone in need. I stole these rather nice Photo's off the Skate for Change website, if you wish to learn more or to make a sizable donation go to

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Katy Perry - One of the Guys

In all honesty I don't like pop music much, but their are a few exceptions to my bias. Katy Perry is partial obsession of mine and I am still amazed how humanity could create a human being that looks like she does. I decided to break the mold of my blog just this once, in an attempt to honor the Beautiful Californian Girl.

Born Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson on October 25, 1984. The singer/song writer better know as Katy Perry has been massaging people's ears with her contralto vocal range(Lowest Classical Female Voice) since she was a youngster. Katy Perry was born the second child to two pastors and was involved in the Church choir from an early age. At the age of 15 her voice caught the attention of Rock veterans from Nashville Tennessee and they encouraged her to sing and learn the guitar.

Perry soon started recording demo's and was quickly snatched up by Christian Label Red Hill. She released an album under the name Katy Hudson. The Album was unsuccessful and the Label closed down short after Katy's debut album was released. Katy Signed to Columbia Records but an Album was never released and she was dropped shortly.Up to this point she had only listened to Christian music and had to submerge herself in popular music in an attempt to catch up to the tastes of current day music fans . 2006 was spent working on her own material as she waited for a record label. In 2007 she was signed to Capitol Music and started to work on her Debut mainstream album One of the Boys. She was also now performing under the name Katy Perry, leaving her original surname behind. While recording One of The Boys, she released an EP "Your So Gay" a shortly afterwards the digital version was available to the public. The Campaigns by Capitol Music to introduce Miss Perry to the Music industry and to develop a distinct style for the singer worked as she was already gaining attention by fans and music professionals alike

On May 6th 2008, Katy Perry released "I Kissed A Girl". The single would quickly come to dominate music charts all over the world. In a short period Capitol Music had taken Katy Perry from a small time musician to the big time. The Katy Perry machine began to take flight, she managed to follow up I kissed a Girl with another hit single "Hot and Cold". Miss Perry managed to pick up Grammy Nominations and MTV Music awards. She also managed to upset British singer Lilly Allen when she called herself a Skinny Version of her. Katy Perry has released a second album in 2010 entitled Teenage Dream. The first single "California Girls" features a collaboration with Snoop Dog. She managed appeal to men with he beautiful looks and to women with her bubble gum style and her disgustingly catchy music. I look forward to seeing miss Perry mature in the spot light. She deserves all the attention she is receiving

Unfortunately for us guys, Katy Perry is about to marry Russel Brand. The Bastard

Monday, October 4, 2010

Social Norms of Socially Retarded Beings

Society is bound tightly by social norms and guidelines. From a very young and innocent age we taught or at least beaten into conforming with one or another template set out by our fellow citizens. We are shown when and how to wipe our asses, how it is not acceptable to encourage new beliefs and ideals, or at least, we are shown how to treat our fellow human beings. Our guidelines are set out by our forefathers, by holy icons or for some, their twisted views of life were burnt deep into their psyches by strange happenings in their lives. Many brutally beat their skulls against the proverbial wall created by society, repeatedly reeking pain upon others in a twisted mission of self satisfaction or mutilation. Never for once stopping to think what repercussions their actions will have

We take pleasure in the finer aspects of life, the simple smell of our environment. We take pleasure in seeing someone fall off a bicycle, someone falling in love, someone making a fool of them self or someone els, or in someone feeling the cold blade of life. We were shown this by Jesus Christ , by Bart Simpson, He Man and by Madonna. We are a stew of what we are exposed to in specific periods of our developing existence. We are taught to hate anyone who stands against our tape recorder minds. Often we are told to destroy their very existence, their most sacred objects and their defenseless pets.

We are taught to court the most wanted humans in our social groups. We are taught to hunt the objects of our desires like sharks. We are taught to treat the opposite sex with respect. We are taught to treat the opposite sex like pests. We are taught to open the door for the one who loves us so . We are taught to lie and betray the ones we love in some selfish act of self fulfillment. We are taught never to steal, unless it is from the one who stole from our us, because then we must kill.

We are shown what is beautiful and what we should look like. We are shown how to contort ourselves into fitting the mold set out by society. We are told we can never do something by someone who never tried. We are told where we will go when we die by someone who is still alive. We are told how to speak, when to eat. Who are told when to look and when not to see. We are shown what is ugly and what we should want to be.We are told to fear those who we don't understand, never to show them sincerity or to ask them what they see.